Saturday, September 12, 2015

Autistic mom loses custody of autistic girls in San Diego,Ca: JAILED FOR 5 DAY'S FOR VIOLATING A COURT ORDER FOR MAKING THIS BLOG SITE.

.I wanted to share with the world now that BOTH my girls cases are closed my oldest now 18 was closed in April 2015 and lies were made up about my now 16 yr. old to run it out longer it closed May 19th 2015 but it totally screwed her out of summer services because we moved to Washington state. This was before I left San Diego I was sent to jail wasn't in vain though as I was scared first when I went in as there were druggies, bank robber, people that had done serious crimes. I started telling my story and what kind of disability I had etc.... only because I wanted to communicate and try and help some and I did before you knew it I was the hottest chick in lock down because I was telling the druggies that they didn't need drugs as a way out all they needed was Jesus Christ there were 31 in my room with bunk-beds and 42 on the opposite side you could go over to if you wanted as the bathroom was our divider. Well a few to a liking to me but others became jealous because the attention was on me. God filled me with such power that two black ladies were tough and they didn't care for me so I kept my distance but others would come ask "Hey miss Linda, can I pray with you."as they noticed me reading the bible, so I did and it was awesome so many of them had ditched there kids for the dope, some were living with family but most CPS came and took. Now those are serious situation the kids need better care but in my book CPS is NEVER the answer because children are just re-abused & used all over sometimes worse. We were forced out of bed at 6 a.m. for breakfast and to walk in a civil line to what was called the chow house. The food was sickening never did I eat nothing except fruit. I was told so much how they make wine to how they slip in drugs but my focus was always my girls but God had a plan to use me for his glory. I had my bible on my bed reading it before light's out at 10 p.m. and some girls would sit at the end of the bed and ask me who is this God you believe in and cares so much about you and then they wouls share there horror stories of how they started their lifestyle weather it was stealing, stripping, or giving up there beautiful kids just for the next fix. I was sad being I wanted my girls back so bad and had NEVER choose nothing over them. I just was autistic with some clinical depression and because I was raising TWO autistic girls and overwhelmed I broke down saying I didn't want to live to this provider who was working with my youngest so showing her my arm I cut on but my girls NEVER saw it or knew I was doing it I just needed to feel but she chose to call police and CPS was called and I begged them to call my family as I went into a psychiatric hospital for 3 day's then let go told your not a danger to yourself or anyone else your free to go. Then the fight was set in motion as I was asked by a CPS supervisor "So you think your gonna get your kids back." I said "Yes of course." She replied very nasty "Well see about that." getting back to jail the day's were long most girls would sleep all day, they did play Madea goes to jail which was funny. I was approached by this black girl earlier I was intimidated by she came up and said "Hey I like to write poems want to hear some I said sure she told me in one poem about her "husband" her husband was her choice of drug heroin and how she gave up her children for it so her mamma had to raise her kids, she said the last time she visited them her 8 year old begged her to stay and give up her #1 love heroin as she cried I did to and I prayed with her and told her what a wonderful poet she was and someday her stuff could get published. This hard, beaten down heart was still ALIVE inside her. She thanked me and even hugged me as I told her if she was to seek Jesus he could clear her mind from that drug and go back to her kids. Then on my final night there I was to be released the next morning this black grandma that despised me and even made fun of my disability and I looked at her when she did and said but Jesus still loves you. She came into the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth and laid herself on the counter sobbing like a baby and said "Mam I go to court tomorrow will you pray for me." and I said "Praise Jesus, sure I will." later that night I couldn't sleep and I wrote all the girls a long letter about accepting Jesus as their personal savior and it was my time to go. So I taped it on the bathroom mirror with bible versus and told them there life had a purpose. As 4 a.m. came it was time to leave jail and change into my regular clothes I felt sooooo much power it was like Daniel must of felt walking out of the Lyon's den. See God uses ALL situations for his good glory and I prayed I made a difference in just (1) as that's called saving a life of guilt and shame and giving them hope for their future. Most of these women were so lost and broken but I know God had a purpose to use ME for it.


Thursday, October 9, 2014


I am moving to Washington state to be with my by TWO girls. I am getting my own apartment and my daughter will supervise my visits but my youngest is so excited in fact she has gone back to being my sweet and now safe child she always even being born premature. GOD say's if your patient good things come your way and it 's our turn I just know.
     Amber states what a delight she has been for her, she does her own Landry , folds both of  there's and brushes her teeth. She got Cindy her melatonin she takes for bed, she feeds the cats, dumps the trash then gets into bed.

Cindy told Amber I can't wait to meet this wonderful mother of yours who raise to wonderful & exceptional girls-!!!!
When Amber told me this it literally made me cry because all the proof I need is for my father in heaven who knows the TRUTH and to no man does it matter. My trial is at it's end stages and only the good comes from him above. I don't know why this was my trial but I will NOT QUESTION GOD ON HIS DECISION and appreciate what it is he has taught to me because I have learned almost SIX YEARS LATER BUT UNLIKE ROBIN WILLIAM'S (God bless his soul) I NEVER GAVE UP because my body is the temple of God. Praise your name.

Saturday, April 19, 2014


My dearest daughter, my very bright, strong willed & spirited child of mine. Today is your 17th birthday and I am sharing my love & gift of how blessed I was to be given such a joy in my life. Although your turning 17 and I have not seen those beautiful big brown eyes in a few years there NEVER EVER MISSED-!!!! I loved you, wanted you & thank our wonderful redeemer every night he will always keep you safe from harm and keep your mind straight on why Jesus died on the cross for you and I. I pray my dear daughter your day is blessed with love, strength, fun & much joy. I have a song for you called "A mother's prayer" by Celine Dion. My lovely sweet daughter you are terribly missed but I know I must keep my trust in God as you were always taught he is our only answer to anything & everything we go through and he has a master plan for the end and the enemy NEVER wins-!! I thank him every single night for every minute I was blessed to have you in my life and pray we will be reunited by him one day. Oh how I am so proud of all your achievements as I have always known you will go far. Goodnight my beloved daughter I pray we meet again.


Sunday, July 21, 2013

Amber Nicole Souza
was my firstborn & has a heart of gold. 
Montanna Arianna Souza    
She came as a strong-willed child
but has the brain of a scholar ready for Harvard.                                                            

Shellbe Alexis Souza 

Arrived prematurely but
was blessed to have a loving spirit that touches heaven & beyond. 

God blessed me with three wonderful children. I am proud to say. I will always be there mother no matter who gets in the way. I could of never thought I could be so happy in life but I was as each new day past and with every waking smile they had to share with me it was love at first sight. I raised all 3 on my own with no help from there fathers but I was given the strength to overcome divorce, domestic violence, rape and then living with a autistic man, my youngest two's father whom I did not know was autistic but his heart was good and after what I survived in my first marriage it seemed rewarding. I later discovered I was on the spectrum slightly as are my youngest two. So there were challenges but nothing I could not survive. 
I know our children can teach us sometimes better then we teach them. I will always know I did a great job as a mother and I now thank God for all the time I was given to be there mother in the home. I will not walk in fear of what the enemy has taken but stand proud for what I taught each and every one of them as I was there role model. My girls will always be just that, they will someday know the truth and it will set them free of any negative statements, remarks they were ever told about me. God has secured his spot in my heart so I will believe exactly what his words tell me and in Jeremiah 29-11 his plans for my life are good & not to harm me. We are here on earth a limited amount of time and it's in that time that we choose how to live and what to live by. I am grateful of what I was blessed to have and in God's timing it will be given back to me & for my patience & perseverance I will be rewarded double. I am glad I have no unforgiven thoughts in my heart & no bitterness on my tongue. We all reap what we sow and my fields are cultivated regularly to kill the weeds. It's been amazing being a mom I believe it's the most rewarding job I could of ever done. I am respected and surely loved so the peace is felt deep within my soul. God has been my answer for every trial I have ever endured and I have seen only one set of footprints many times throughout my life and know it was then that Jesus carried me through. I have been transformed to a new creature in Christ.
 I thank him for all the precious and very meaningful times I shared in each one of my children's lives. I have no regrets and I am positive I did the very best I could do as a single parent. 
I am grateful to all the teachings I have now learned and will always rely on my awesome faith. I am a mother but most of all I am a representative for Christ and with that I will retain my freedom to speak of all God has taught me walking through this fire. If you abide in him he can & will take you places you never thought possible while here on earth. I am proud of who I have now become in wisdom, faith, love, mercy, patience, perseverance & my ability to fall in love with my heavenly father. I am saved by his grace for my Redeemer lives~!!!

                  Thank You Jesus for your gifts I was given
                  and the gifts you graciously taught me to have.

Thursday, May 23, 2013


This was suppose to be a safe place where children who had been abused or neglected by parent's brought for visitation, instead it is where my child showed me & Norma Mendez signs of neglect in the foster home and each time they listened but she went right back there and my girls were NOT abused or neglected by me one was brought for 1-hour visits twice a month and only the youngest who can't be brainwashed would attend the oldest has (Stockholm syndrome) a form of brain washing where the kidnappers become her protectors and I now I am the enemy happened in many public cases like (Jaycee Dugard & Elizabeth Smart) these are just two as the longer they live with their kidnapper's they become so dysfunctional they learn to live in it for years & years.

This is my story here as of last week my daughter who has autism & mild cp is 14 but functions a little below but very intelligent and as always I am to keep quiet and not ask about her "home life" at the foster home. Well the over-bearing women Norma left the room and left a "in training man to do the supervision." I felt my daughter would feel comfortable enough to talk, she turned to see if Norma was present & then felt comfortable enough to say "Well see this" and took off her shoe and showed me a huge bruise on top of her foot. I asked what happened she said "I fell after taking a shower." and I said "Where was Gloria the foster mom? " She said "She wasn't there but her adult daughter was downstairs." Did she hear you fall ? No as she was downstairs and I was upstairs. "Nobody took you to have it x-rayed."

She began to really cry and said "It hurt all day momma, I' couldn't walk on it." So knowing my child I said and what else happened, she said "Well when Gloria came home I showed her she said "We all get bruises, see mine." Then the tears really flowed and she said "I told the truth momma, but Gloria H. told me NOT to tell you as she wanted no complaining." I was very upset but held my composure and took pictures as always and saw her toes again were so long. I told her how proud of her I was for telling me the truth as momma has always taught you to do. She was terrified and kept saying "Now I am going to get into trouble as I was told not to tell." It took me and an additional supervisor in training to calm her saying he was going to talk to the foster mom in returning my daughter. In homes where adults are present and in the highest paying FFA home where it's about $2,000 a month to be paid to watch a child as mine they are to be there caring for them 24/7 (what if... she slipped unattended and hit her head causing her to go unconscious ?) but she left her in the care of someone else probably not even certified to watch her but was downstairs attending to her own child(ren) but then the ultimate sin is for an adult to lie to a child to keep a secret from her mother see because Gloria was not there and she runs not only a foster home but a licensed daycare she is the provider in and a mandated reporter.

 After she returned, my daughter showed her the bruise and her remark to my child was "We all get bruises, see mine." showed her a bruise on herself. This is what aches my heart, a falsified report about me was written up on me 2 years prior stating I pulled this child (whom was premature in my care) by the arm, she was taken to Palomar Hospital where not a single mark, bruise or injury was found (because I never pulled her arm) but I was kept from seeing my precious child for one year and a half~!! The neglect, abuse & psychological damage that has impacted this poor child and my oldest have both suffered at the hands of San Diego County is appalling and is killing my girls, the medical neglect alone has caused my daughter (youngest) to now be back having petite grand mal seizures as before, irritability, sleeplessness, blood in her stool, eczema on her face & hands, her gut surely is a mess with bacteria as she is craving wheat and sugar again~!! So the county's answer medicate her with many psychotropic drugs some intended only over 18 but she's on it at 14.


The supervisor over at Casa de Amparo Emily Morgan promised me she would file a CPS report but instead I was called by Norma Mendez telling me the visit's would no longer be held there and that they would be moved back to social services in Escondido. Emily told me she is a therapist. She's trained in sign's of abuse & made the descion to move me to a more stressful place back at a CPS office. Oh yeah she cares about neglected children or adults.
 I assume holds a degree in it and we talked prior to this visit for sometime and she told me that I surely had PTSD as well as the child because we come there and relive this nightmare every other week over the last 4 years. She sat and talked with great empathy that day but then it seems her care went all out the window. She even shared "Linda our motive here at Casa de Amparo is to push to reunify the families and most quit coming but look at you still fighting after 4 years that's to be admired~!"
  It's sadly the children NOBODY really cares about, shoving them place to place, not getting services to help them with their feelings and all I am is punished with is jail for speaking out trying to protect and save my children from more harm or damage. This tells you something about them all here and the social workers as were punished "moved" back to another location just because I asked my daughter how were thing's going over at the foster home ? I believe it was because I am forewarned about asking "anything" concerning her placement, but if they have nothing to hide why is it a problem ?
 It was my daughter who offered to show me this bruise it was when I asked her how she acquired it is when the tears came flowing out and I know my child. She was terrified to "speak up" for herself as she softly said "Gloria H. told me not to say nothing to you as she wanted no "complaining" yeah because she is certified through the state as a FFA home and get's big $$$$ for her daycare/foster care home and for any child not just mine to screw that up for her would mean all her & her children's lavish trips, shopping spree's etc... out the window. Then to my shock they brought in a man "in training" and he took my child home that day. Do they have any concern for my daughter's safety that had already been abused by her biological father and yet let's this man just take her home unsupervised himself ??

Then to top it off I have been feeding my child the wheat/gluten diet 5 years prior to them kidnapping her, that won't hurt her gut and my attorney say's "Linda, they have been checked out for gluten intolerance and show none." how sad is that as ALL of us know especially with autistic children there is ABSOLUTELY NO TEST to show intolerance to anything~!!!  
                                              I pray for them all~!!

We may suffer here on this earth but we will have eternity to spend in heaven with our father.

                                           This is her foot with the bruise in current FH.

                            This is a bite mark on her arm from adult in (FIRST) foster home.
                                          This is the condition her ear was in on a visit
                                           in her present foster home.

                                        Severe redness happens on the skin with food allergies,
                                    besides behaviors, hyperactivity,spitting,biting,seizures
                              there now treating her with drugs to compensate these behaviors.
                                                                 (SEE BELOW)

                     Her toenails were so long and I was told by Norma Mendez I should
                   spend my hour visits teaching her to trim them on her own
                  when she is in the highest paid FFA for that reason she is incapable
                 of doing these things on her own. This is my 1-hour time to visit my child in fact
                  were not allowed to watch video's and who get's paid ? Norma always saw                                     these things and yet this was never considered neglect in her eyes ??

Friday, May 10, 2013



On April 16, 2009  I was depressed and over whelmed. I spent 3 days in the hospital. 
My daughters were taken away from me without a phone call offering them to my family.

Once I was discharged I was told I was NOT a danger to myself or anyone else so my girls should have been returned to me according to many attorney's I've spoken to.

Can you believe in America, in the county of San Diego, Health and Human services has once again  committed the act of medical neglect and abuse of my children in their care !!

 I have informed the county my two autistic daughters are wheat and gluten intolerant. So why would they allow there care givers to continue to feed them foods which will harm them.

I even made and placed a medical alert bracelet on the wrist of my 14 yr. old who once had seizures due to eating wheat and gluten and to help protect her in the hope someone would care. 
I placed her on her life saving diet that  relieved all of these symptoms: 

Red ears, checks, eczema, body aches, irritability, blood in her stool from a bleeding intestines,vomiting, severe behaviors, yeast that grows in the gut and insomnia.

I gave Social Services, Dr. Sandra Lee MD. and faxed Connie Cain all packets showing the link between autism, the brain and the gut issues that both my daughters and I suffer from.

Today May 8th a hearing was held to add more psychotropic drugs to my 14 year old and I feel it was fixed so I would miss this hearing, as my attorney nor I was told it was moved for the very first time in four years to downtown San Diego.

While I was driving to the court my attorney called me informing me of the judges decision to DENY placing my daughter back on her diet she was on for five years while in my care. ALL behaviors, illnesses and seizures had gone away. 

With the documented proof I gave them all on 3 different occasions of there medical needs it's ignored intentionally every single day.

Sadly my daughter is now once again having seizures, severe behaviors and all of these symptoms listed above as well as poisoning my daughter's body and brain while she is forced to eat wheat and gluten. 

The medical professional placed her on  psychotropic drugs to mask the behaviors, seizures and all that's wrong with her today!

I spent 5 days in jail back in 2012 for contempt of a court ordered to keep my mouth shut and speaking out about this continued medical neglect.  

Well I can rot in jail as ANY caring and loving parent who had major concerns for their child would do. I will continue speak up and fight for my children.

 I cannot sit back and "agree" with these people that what they are doing is right when each time I see my very sick child and watch her deteriorate more and more each time I see her. 

This child is moderately affected with autism and mild cerebral palsy. She cannot fight for herself.  No one else even including the court appointed CASA "Lolly" will advocate for these girls.
I was told by someone who has wheat and gluten intolerance siblings and celiac disease that these people have 10x higher chances of getting cancer and dying younger. 

As the mother of these girls I have lived with the very same condition all my life. 
One child has already fought hard to live being born premature at 4 lbs.
Living through many hospitalizations being sick early on she had health issues as well as the oldest in the hospital being fed through her nose due to vomiting up milk (intolerance) at 6 months old.

For them to not just ignore but plain ABUSE them with their conditions, of wheat intolerance is sickening and their department is called "health and human services" !! 

Besides the psychological abuse to us all for keeping them alienated away from their only parent they have ever known, who gave them an awesome life and went above and beyond for all their medical and educational needs. This has caused us all to suffer PTSD continually.

Now I am solely being DISCRIMINATED AGAINST due to my own diagnosis of Aspergers. I have long proved to the court I deserved my children back a very long time ago.

And since I was never offered any services including reunification I found and did all on my own.
I completed  MANY things over the last 4 years. Submitting it all into the court but all is intentionally ignored-!!!!! (Even drug addicts get back their kids)

My attorney's have told me my girls should of been returned to me immediately!
Instead they were placed in a permanent plan from the very start "to kidnapped them" as a psychologist once told me in doing juvenile court for 10 years he has NEVER seen it go directly into a straight  permanent plan!! 

Well their is a God and he is a God of justice and he will deal with them someday please just pray for my precious girls that God will keep them safe and I am sure one day I will have a best seller.

 I have never used drugs or alcohol in a abusive manner. I have never neglected or harmed my children.

 I do have a mild disability but my intelligence is 99% and I have raised one adult daughter already whom is a awesome asset to society and gives me all the credit to why she is. 

ALL six of my former county attorneys and a 7th I hired on my own all agreed I wasn't being treated fairly and that they felt the social workers had it out for me as noted in a e-mail by their supervisor of the DLG.
I was even made to be my own attorney for one year (but couldn't parent?) 
I am on my tenth attorney since this all began four years ago.

 GOD will bring justice to it all.

Thanks for reading, God bless

Saturday, April 6, 2013


This was shot by me on Easter 2013 as God gave the meaning of the rainbow in the bible NEVER to flood the earth again but he makes all the beauty we see and when he wants to show it. I was so amazed with such beauty I pulled off the highway and just enjoyed it and praised his name. The colors that radiate from it are just spectacular in color. I am fascinated with his "special" creations of beauty. It brought me to tears just to observe it. I believe our eye sight is a precious gift, could you imagine not being able to see such a creation ? 
There is one thing in all this "terrible" situation with my girls, knowing NOBODY but the magnificent creator is in control of it all~!! I am so prepared for his kingdom and know it will be just as awesome as the radiant beauty the rainbow holds within itself. Below is another shot.

                                                                                    GOD'S BEAUTY
                                                                         MAGNIFICENT COLORS

                                                          NOT OF THIS WORLD